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| Photo by Thomas Brown |
"If the world is saved, it
will be saved because the people living in it have a new vision."
- B
What does one do after an epic journey? That
had been the question nagging me since November 2012, a relentless idea that
couldn’t go away. There was always the intention to evolve RISE into
something that lived and grew beyond the tour. We began the journey to
ride in honor of the brothers we lost to suicide for suicide awareness, but I
always felt there was more to the mission. I just always failed at articulating a philosophy.
Finishing the tour didn’t end with a hand delivered instruction manual laying
out a definitive RISE philosophy, nor a full explanation of the next step.
Looking back now, I can
admit that my return to Phoenix and the ending of the tour seemed extremely
anticlimactic. I can’t tell you what I expected, but outside of a few
beers and simple conversations over dinner with a few friends. I didn’t feel as if I had ever left.
Maybe I was anticipating a pay off at the end of the journey, something
tangible that I could hold. Instead, I returned to a world that continued
on just fine without me, and why shouldn’t it? I guess it would have been nice to have RISE invited into a
joint venture, offers for assistance, perhaps job opportunities. Nothing of
that nature was ever entertained. It seems the pay off I was looking for ended
up being the experience itself?
I learned a lot on the road. There were
things I agreed with and of course, many things I
disagreed with. While saving all of the nuances for a different blog post, I can say that what I disagreed with, in a nutshell, was vision. I can say that what I disagreed
with was vision, whether it was vision of the future or vision of the
fundamental cause of mental illness, depression and the outcome of suicide. It seemed like the range of what people were looking at
and for, was much too shallow; a constant tunnel vision that prohibited people
from looking outside of the subject of suicide.
In the 37 years of experience on this planet, I’ve
come to believe that everything is connected to everything. Though I will
admit that this belief system opens up an entire new arena of problems.
Furthermore, I must concede to the truth that the same issues I disagreed with
on the road were now keeping me stagnant; I had lost my vision. No wonder
I wasn’t bombarded with offers from outsiders to partner or engage RISE.
Without a vision, what are people to follow or ally with? How does one
direct or inspire without a vision?
Maybe I was burnt out and just needed to rest,
which is probably true, although it was more that I was overwhelmed with
information from the experience and I needed time to process. After bouncing from one corner of the country to the next
for eight and a half months, suddenly becoming sedentary and working a day job
can be quite jarring in its self. I had so much more going on in my head
that needed to be processed: the tour, how I had changed, what to do next, and
on top of it all I began a long distance relationship. With
everything I was doing, how could I process? I was overwhelmed with far
too much mental and physical stimulation. It wasn’t till seven months
after tour that I was able to accept that I was finally home.
I guess it was the obvious step that I needed to
make before I could move on. RISE was an important life event for me, but
it was far more than a bike ride. Before the tour even began I knew it
was going to frame the way I walk through the world, perhaps for the rest of my
life. By the time I accepted that I was once again a part of the Phoenix
society, I was already well into the outline of the book I wanted to write and
was finally ready to begin the steps of putting it together. Still, I was
no closer to articulating and crafting a vision of RISE.
Rather than beat my head against the wall, I
decided it was best to begin writing the book and trust in the process that I
would find a place for RISE in my world, if not the world at large. The
writing is a process and as it has been going well, from the beginning, I knew
it wouldn’t be enough. I still had the pressing feeling of needing to
articulate the purpose of RISE. I finally realized that having a vision
wasn’t for the sake of informing any following of supporters
we may have picked up, but more so for my own understanding.
Along with my writing, I began researching
subjects that had inspired the idea of RISE. I began going back to my
library as well as finding new sources of reading material. I wasn’t just
reading to pass the time, I was reading with purpose. Over the next year,
I have finally begun to make sense in my own mind what I want to achieve for
myself. While this is an ever-evolving process, the ever-changing sum is
the ever-adapting philosophy that is RISE.
Perhaps some
people just fall into their future without direction or the help of a road map.
In no way am I so fortunate. I was in need of a vision in order to direct
my purpose and thus the purpose of RISE. Though I didn’t want to box
myself in or anyone else that may feel they resonated with what I was
producing. Any vision that I would be comfortable with needed the freedom
to adapt to any experience and situation, not being confined by ridged dogmatic
law. Nonetheless I required a vision, a horizon to set my eyes on.
Less than two years since I finished the tour and returned home, finally, I
have a vision I trust, understand, and believe in. Where it goes from
here, I leave to fate.
