Blunders of Bipolar/ Episode 1: A Prologue

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By

Barry Allen

 Foreshadowing...

On May 12, 2006 my life changed.

I was already diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had been hospitalized because of a manic episode. Three months prior, the depressive side of bipolar disorder had me sleeping on my parents couch for 20 hours a day.

The depression was debilitating. I stopped hanging out with my friends... stopped bathing... stopped going to school... stopped going out of the house... stopped everything but sleeping.

I found myself in a tailspin of looping negative thoughts that strengthened over time. I obsessed over the same repeating thought for hours.

My brain slowed down to where it was difficult recalling words or names. Listening to people talk was drowned out by my apathetic inner dialogue. I didn’t care about anything. It was all numb and colorless.

Then my brain changed. I started to hear people again, and see colors. My mood lifted and stabilized... and kept lifting, and kept lifting, and kept lifting.

Until I was back in manic state. The mania was more intense than the original episode that led to hospitalization. I was clinically delusional. Having thoughts that I was a Messiah and couldn’t be killed. Preparing retribution for anyone who had received harm in their lives. Fantasizing about homicidal ideas for people who traumatized others.

The 12th day of May 2006, I decided to take action on a plan I devised several weeks earlier. My delusional brain thought it was better than physically hurting someone. A perfect way to send an intimidating message.

I mixed several bags of popcorn styrofoam with two gallons of gasoline and created a few pounds of napalm. Wrapped the napalm in with tin foil and put the balls of destruction inside a paper Nordstrom’s bag for the 3 mile trip in my car.

I drove over to my friend’s apartment complex on 5th Ave and Ash to find his car. I happened to spot his girlfriend’s car before his and decided her car would be apart of the intimidation.

I parked my car next to hers, and took out the Nordstrom’s bag from the back seat.

I looked at her car and began smooshing the tinfoil balls around the body of her car. About 10 in all.

Then walked over to her boyfriend’s car and proceeded to do the same with his.

I pulled a lighter from my pocket, took a deep breath, and lit the tinfoil ball on his windshield. His car was on fire and I quickly walked over to the other car and lit another tinfoil ball.

Got in my car and drove off...