Blunders of Bipolar/ Episode 2: The Arrest

By
Barry Allen

...4 hours passed before my father called me, “What the fuck did you do?”

I told him I knew nothing. Had no idea what he was talking about.

My father and his best friend drove over to my house to talk to me. They suggested I meet with the detectives who had notified them about me setting two cars on fire. I decided to drive myself down to the Tempe police station.

My plan was to deny everything. Blame it on people I had met in the mental hospital. Because we all know people in mental hospitals are capable of committing arson... My alibi consisted of claiming I met some dangerous people in the hospital and they would do things for me, take care of my business.

As I made a right hand turn to head north on Mill Ave, an SUV police car pulled out of a neighborhood street and behind me. She was a blonde woman and I watched her in my rearview mirror as she spoke into her radio.

200 ft before Mill and 13 St the lights went on.

I made a right hand turn and pulled over into a neighborhood cul de sac. When I looked up after putting the car in park, 9 other cars appeared in my rearview mirror. Marked and unmarked vehicles had me blockaded as my father and his best friend observed the procedure.

Officers positioned themselves against their driver doors with guns drawn. A man’s voice came from blockade, “Put your hands out the window, let me see your hands!”

As I turned around, I saw 13 guns pointed at my car and extreme panic on my father’s face.

I followed the officer’s directives and slowly opened my door while pleading for them not to shoot me. A male officer approached me with his weapon drawn on my chest and his 12 partners doing the same.

“Get on the ground, get the fuck on the ground!”

I did as told.

I felt hands patting my body in search of weapons and cold steel wrapped around my wrists. I was in custody and being hauled off to the police station for questioning.

It was only the beginning.

Blunders of Bipolar/ Episode 1: A Prologue

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By

Barry Allen

 Foreshadowing...

On May 12, 2006 my life changed.

I was already diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had been hospitalized because of a manic episode. Three months prior, the depressive side of bipolar disorder had me sleeping on my parents couch for 20 hours a day.

The depression was debilitating. I stopped hanging out with my friends... stopped bathing... stopped going to school... stopped going out of the house... stopped everything but sleeping.

I found myself in a tailspin of looping negative thoughts that strengthened over time. I obsessed over the same repeating thought for hours.

My brain slowed down to where it was difficult recalling words or names. Listening to people talk was drowned out by my apathetic inner dialogue. I didn’t care about anything. It was all numb and colorless.

Then my brain changed. I started to hear people again, and see colors. My mood lifted and stabilized... and kept lifting, and kept lifting, and kept lifting.

Until I was back in manic state. The mania was more intense than the original episode that led to hospitalization. I was clinically delusional. Having thoughts that I was a Messiah and couldn’t be killed. Preparing retribution for anyone who had received harm in their lives. Fantasizing about homicidal ideas for people who traumatized others.

The 12th day of May 2006, I decided to take action on a plan I devised several weeks earlier. My delusional brain thought it was better than physically hurting someone. A perfect way to send an intimidating message.

I mixed several bags of popcorn styrofoam with two gallons of gasoline and created a few pounds of napalm. Wrapped the napalm in with tin foil and put the balls of destruction inside a paper Nordstrom’s bag for the 3 mile trip in my car.

I drove over to my friend’s apartment complex on 5th Ave and Ash to find his car. I happened to spot his girlfriend’s car before his and decided her car would be apart of the intimidation.

I parked my car next to hers, and took out the Nordstrom’s bag from the back seat.

I looked at her car and began smooshing the tinfoil balls around the body of her car. About 10 in all.

Then walked over to her boyfriend’s car and proceeded to do the same with his.

I pulled a lighter from my pocket, took a deep breath, and lit the tinfoil ball on his windshield. His car was on fire and I quickly walked over to the other car and lit another tinfoil ball.

Got in my car and drove off...