Monday, June 17, 2013

Survivors writing a book on Raising a child in the wake of Suicide

Raising a Child in the Wake of Suicide
A book By
Christopher Lukas
&
Vanessa McGann, Ph.D.


Two survivors of family suicides are embarking on a new book. They are going to tell stories of children, now grown up, who were below the age of 18 when a suicide occurred in their families. They also want to hear from the caretakers (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) who were responsible for children when a suicide occurred.

The purpose is to help families and clinicians understand some of the helpful and less than helpful interventions or activities in those families at the time of the suicides, and since.

For a fuller detailed description of their project, and a call for participants from around the world, can be found by clicking here.


Vanessa McGann, Ph.D.
vlmcgann@aol.com

Christopher Lukas
lukandluk@verizon.net

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The RISE Philosophy Pt. 1: A Purpose


Photo by Thomas Brown



            I feel that I am long overdue in explanation, or perhaps, I have just evolved my understanding and articulation of the situation.  I’m talking about R.I.S.E., its meaning and fundamental purpose.  In 2011,  I made close to one hundred phone calls to cities around the country talking about the RISE bicycle tour.  After long conversations, a good portion of those phone calls did bare the fruit of those individuals and groups willing to participate on the journey.  While on the road, we talked to hundreds, if not thousands of people.  Somewhere along the way, the meaning of the name was passed over.

            I guess it didn’t matter. After all those pre-tour conversations, those who accepted us did so because we had lost loved ones to suicide.  I doubt the name needed a meaning or purpose at that point.  It seems, with out much thought, people have lost touch with the true power that words hold.  Presenting an idea with intentional language has the power to breath life into a seeming lifeless abstract.  It can inspire in the ways that most actions do.  A word or ideal can radically shift perception, evolving awareness of the world in which we all walk through.

            With the three year anniversary of the conceptual conversation which took root just around the corner, I feel now is the most opportune time to bring forth some clarity.  What the hell is R.IS.E. (Revolution Inspired by Self Evolution)?  What is it, and what does it have to do with depression and mental illness?  Further more, how does art and creative expression fit into the greater philosophy?

            In regards to humanity and its multitude of cultures, everything in life on this little blue planet begins with the self.  How we view ourselves in terms of our environment will dictate how we walk through this world.  Essentially, the RISE philosophy promotes knowledge of self.  The acronym expresses this sentiment intentionally.  Revolution Inspired by Self Evolution:  Revolution (change) and Self Evolution (Intentional Reflection); now what this means- personal changes is catalyzed through intentional self reflection.

            To peel even more of that onion (in case you need the assistance), allow me to break it down even further.  It is absolutely paramount that each and every one of us knows, on some base cognitive level, know what we want in life.  The greatest tragedy in life is, not knowing your passion-that which turn you on.  Without passion, one is left with out purpose.  Not knowing your purpose leaves one filled with debilitating fear. 

            The great, yet paradoxical, element of purpose is that we get to create our own.  In order to create a purpose, you need to know your bliss.  If you don’t know what your bliss is, then you need to take the time to figure that out.  You need to reflect and start asking yourself some important questions.  What is my passion?  What do I love?  What do I want to excel at?  What do I want from this life?  Until you know the answers to those questions, you will remain in a limbo floating through the powerful currents of existence.

            Knowing what you want in the life you are given is just the first step in an every evolving journey from cradle to grave.  Once you know what you want, you have to make the decision to go after it.  Again, some personal questions need to be asked.  Am I willing to put in the effort?  Am I willing to sacrifice time and energy?  Am I willing to endure the struggle to accomplish?  Am I willing to be uncomfortable?  When you are able to say yes to your passion and bliss...when you are ready to sacrifice and let go of some comfort...when you are ready to walk the path and take the quest to live your dream, a fantastic magic is unleashed.

            The more you walk the path with an open heart while letting go of the need to control (which is an art in and of itself), you will begin to uncover the existence to a reality of the world never seen before.  A language of actions and events will unfold as you proceed on your quest.  What you always considered coincidence; a pointless and lifeless strange encounter, you know realize to be a living synchronistic web of connection filled with the abundance of purpose.

            Do not be mistaken…this is no easy task.  Just because you know what you want, and make the decision to go after it, does not mean it will fall into your lap.  Like everything else in life, there will be trials and tribulations.  Nothing is free.  I can promise you this; the reward is much greater when you work to attain your bliss, rather than floating through endless randomness with no intentional direction.  Whether you follow your heart and passion or float without intention or focus, those trial and tribulations will be there.  So why not just put up the trials while going after what you want.  No matter what excuse you give yourself, there will always be that void.  The void that only you can fill by knowing and going after that which brings you joy.

            Last, may I give one final suggestion?  Be adaptable and have faith.  Once you know what you want, and have made the decision to set out on your journey for it, expect the unexpected.  There are infinite ways to accomplish the goal of attaining your bliss.  Just as there are many roads from one city to another.  Don’t fall into the trap that convinces your mind that there is one perfect way to follow your bliss.  Pay attention to the clues and signals that the world is laying at your feet.  Above all, enjoy the scenery on the road as well as the people you meet along the way.




Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Blunders of Bipolar/ Episode 1: A Prologue

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By
Barry Allen

 Foreshadowing...


On May 12, 2006 my life changed.

I was already diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had been hospitalized because of a manic episode. Three months prior, the depressive side of bipolar disorder had me sleeping on my parents couch for 20 hours a day.

The depression was debilitating. I stopped hanging out with my friends... stopped bathing... stopped going to school... stopped going out of the house... stopped everything but sleeping.

I found myself in a tailspin of looping negative thoughts that strengthened over time. I obsessed over the same repeating thought for hours.

My brain slowed down to where it was difficult recalling words or names. Listening to people talk was drowned out by my apathetic inner dialogue. I didn’t care about anything. It was all numb and colorless.

Then my brain changed. I started to hear people again, and see colors. My mood lifted and stabilized... and kept lifting, and kept lifting, and kept lifting.

Until I was back in manic state. The mania was more intense than the original episode that led to hospitalization. I was clinically delusional. Having thoughts that I was a Messiah and couldn’t be killed. Preparing retribution for anyone who had received harm in their lives. Fantasizing about homicidal ideas for people who traumatized others.

The 12th day of May 2006, I decided to take action on a plan I devised several weeks earlier. My delusional brain thought it was better than physically hurting someone. A perfect way to send an intimidating message.

I mixed several bags of popcorn styrofoam with two gallons of gasoline and created a few pounds of napalm. Wrapped the napalm in with tin foil and put the balls of destruction inside a paper Nordstrom’s bag for the 3 mile trip in my car.

I drove over to my friend’s apartment complex on 5th Ave and Ash to find his car. I happened to spot his girlfriend’s car before his and decided her car would be apart of the intimidation.

I parked my car next to hers, and took out the Nordstrom’s bag from the back seat.

I looked at her car and began smooshing the tinfoil balls around the body of her car. About 10 in all.

Then walked over to her boyfriend’s car and proceeded to do the same with his.

I pulled a lighter from my pocket, took a deep breath, and lit the tinfoil ball on his windshield. His car was on fire and I quickly walked over to the other car and lit another tinfoil ball.

Got in my car and drove off...

  

Monday, June 10, 2013

33 ways to feel better, for Jeff


By 
Laura Baran

posted on May 14th, 2013 
By
Laura I miss my brother Jeff. He killed himself in 2000. He was born in 1980. He would have been 33 today.




 
Jeff was 20 when he died. I was 23. I pray to release the guilt and regret. I pray that I will allow myself to honor him still even though I fully release guilt, and regret about his death, and what I could have done better. He's still alive in memory without those things. What do they add, nearly 13 years later? What do they do? Do they help me grieve? Suicide is so complex. Why don't we just escape instead? I suppose that's what I finally did.

Jeff's legacy is a mile of kindness. It's an acre of creativity. It's a treasure chest gleaming with jokes and laughter. It's music. It's film. It's moments of bliss being with him. It's love. Love of children. Animals. Sick people. Old people. It's a voice. Strength. Saying what he felt was right. Justice. A strong sense of ethics. Saving my life.

I'm trying to help myself escape into a fantasy and make it my every day life. I can definitely do more. I'm trying to help others escape into loving themselves so they feel less alone and more connected.
I'm trying to show people that creativity can help them become their own best friend.

I will not be quiet. I will not bury my memories and feelings. I will talk. I will cry if I'm sad.
I will play music and paint. I will write like I'm doing now. I will share my feelings. I will ask for help. I will receive help. I will consider myself worthy of being helped. I will help others feel worthy of being helped. I will help others to learn to ask for help.

I am putting beauty into the world with my paintings.

I am nobody's punching bag anymore. And I don't even need to punch anyone to feel better. I don't stoop to that level. I show them how it's done. I always want to be about showing them how it's done. That's what Jeff did.

For Jeff, here are 33 things I do, and maybe you can do too, to feel better.
1    Paint nails
2    Makeup
3    Put on an awesome outfit
4    Buy flowers
5    Smell flowers
6    Play with a dog
7    Play with a child
8    Take a long walk
9    Lay on the grass
10  Hug a tree
11  Dance
12  Watch comedy
13  Take a bath
14  Essential oils
15  Massage
16  Sex
17  Body grooming
18  Clean a room
19   Shower
20  Breathe with attention
21  Meditate
22  Call someone you trust
23  Scream
24  Write
25  Pick things up off the floor
26  Feel it
27  Cry
28  Sunbathe
29  Affirmation painting
30  Favorite music, listen
31  Sing
32  Smile in the mirror, say something super loving and sweet
33  Do whatever relaxes you
Originally posted on May 14th, 2013




TThe original article blog can be found here


To learn more about Laura Baran go to:


Sunday, June 9, 2013

RISE Update: Thomas Brown Video Journal 45





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